Humor

McWidgie and Friends

Every now and then I think about how cool it would be to write and draw comic books for a living or to do an ongoing online comic series like Terry LaBan’s Muktuk Wolfsbreath:Hardboiled Shaman, Jeffrey Wells and Shaenon Garrity’s Skin Horse, or G. Martinez Cabrera’s Ostenspieler and the Book of Faces. But then I spend a whole day working on something simple like the following one-page strip, McWidgie and Friends, and realize how much work a full-blown comic book would entail!

I actually tried to make McWidgie and Friends available through an online print service, but they sent me an email shortly thereafter stating that the strip violated copyright and trademark laws because of the resemblance of its characters to a pair of well-known hamburger hucksters — and so they took the comic offline. Personally, I have to say that I have no idea what they’re talking about, so I’ll have to let you be the judge…

Okay, so maybe there’s a passing resemblance between my characters and a couple of others you may have seen on television. And, sure, maybe I think it would be really funny in a mischievous-but-not-entirely-destructive Project Mayhem sort of way if people everywhere downloaded this image, had it printed on post cards, and started handing it out at various fast food locations throughout the world. But that doesn’t mean I advocate breaking copyright law. Just bending it a little.

Ask an English Teacher: The Right Word

I’m trying to find the right word to expresses how I feel about something. I’m not wholeheartedly behind the issue at hand, but I also wouldn’t say that I’m only halfheartedly behind it, either. I’m somewhere in between. Is there a word for my attitude?

Yes, but it’s German, and they’re not telling us what it is. Given their reticence to give up the goods (as it were), I propose we make up our own terminology: Maybe you’re five-eighths-heartedly behind the issue in question. Or possibly only nine-sixteenths-heartedly behind it. More generously, perhaps you’re fourteen-seventeenths-heartedly behind this issue or, if you’re really close to giving over your whole heart but not quite ready to hand over that last sliver, three-hundred-twelve-three-hundred-thirteenths behind it, whatever “it” may be. The important thing, especially in dealings of the human heart, is to reduce everything to a measurable quantity. As all English teachers know, nothing matters more than accuracy, particularly when it comes to writing!

I think the word I was looking for was “mostly.”

I thirty-five-thirty-sevenths-heartedly disagree.