While we’re on the subject of awards, here’s some incredibly lowbrow toilet humor that’s bound to appeal to literary types:
- First, as grandiosely as possible, say, “Did I tell you about my Pulitzer Prize?”
- Wait for someone to say, “No! Please, tell me about your Pulitzer Prize!”
- Hold out your index finger.
- Say, “Pull it!”
- When the person pulls your finger, fart proudly and say, “Surprise!”
To ensure maximum impact, eat plenty of beans and raw vegetables an hour before attempting this joke.
Abominations 
That’s clearly worse than my idea of a pullet surprise, in which the winner gets a chicken.
I agree! (And for anyone who doesn’t know his work, Stephen’s novel The Final Appearance of America’s Favorite Girl Next Door is amazing!)
Hahahahaha…hohohoho! Loud and proud, got it.
Agh! Will a whoops cushion do?? Unfortunately my sweet relatives would still believe I’d won. It’d be all over MN papers. (Hmm… Any publicity is good?)
That would definitely work. So would the comic’s constant companion in this clip:
That’s better than a Hertz donut!