While we’re on the subject of awards, here’s some incredibly lowbrow toilet humor that’s bound to appeal to literary types:

  • First, as grandiosely as possible, say, “Did I tell you about my Pulitzer Prize?”
  • Wait for someone to say, “No! Please, tell me about your Pulitzer Prize!”
  • Hold out your index finger.
  • Say, “Pull it!”
  • When the person pulls your finger, fart proudly and say, “Surprise!”

To ensure maximum impact, eat plenty of beans and raw vegetables an hour before attempting this joke.

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